Friday, November 21, 2008
HFH: Fat Ticker Friday
On to this week's theme....
What was your "Aha!" moment? What was that moment you realized that life could not continue for yourself on the path you were on and that you had to dig deep and change your lifestyle and improve your health? Was it something someone said to you? A picture you saw of yourself? Was it a test result you got back after a doctor visit?
It finally dawn on me not too long ago - just before I signed up for this weight challenge - that it was up to me to figure this out. I have the head knowledge. I know what I need to do. I just need to do it. I need to do it so I can live long enough to see my sons grow up. I realized it when I told people that diabetes will never kill me - it's the complications of this disease that will kill me. It won't be high blood sugars in and of itself. It will be the heart disease caused by those sugars. It will be kidney failure caused by those sugars. I need to get the fat off of my body. I need to be as healthy as I can possibly be. I need to do everything I need to do to live a long & healthy life. I'm on the way.
When I first started this challenge, I had lost about five pounds on my own. Then I began yo-yo'ing like crazy. I'd loose a pound or two & then gain them back. Week after week. It was so depressing. But I didn't do anything about it - not what I needed to do. Then I joined Hot for the Holidays & it was the jump start I needed. Since then I've lost 10 pounds from my highest weight. I'm determined to make it work this time.
Sometimes I wonder what it will be like to be thinner again. I used to be. I want to be what I used to be even though sometimes the thought of it all scares me. Because you see, inside, inside I'm still what I used to be. It's only when I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror that I realize I'm not the same person. It's time to make what the world sees match up with how I feel & I'm determined to get there.